What's taters, precious?

I like potatoes.  I think everyone likes potatoes.  I'm Irish.  I can't even help liking potatoes, they're in my blood.  Couldn't stop myself if I tried.

Fried taters, French Fried taters, baked taters, mashed taters, whipped taters, tater salad, tater tots.  Yeah, you can't go wrong.

Until you meet the potato tendrils.

Maybe you're aware, maybe you're oblivious.  Either way, potato tendrils are creepy.

When you have potatoes for a while, sometimes they start to...bud; grow eyes.  They start out as little...white...specks, dots, maybe nipples.  And they keep growing...and growing.  From nipple into eye, from eye into nose, from nose into arm, from arm into tendril.  Yes, this is the evolution of the potato.

If you procrastinate too long after it reaches the tendril phase, you may find yourself at a loss for life.

But you can combat them before this happens.

Remove the tendrils.  Rip them off.  Cut them off.  Dig them out.  Get rid of the potato eyes and nipples, too.  Let them know you're onto their scheme and you're not backing down.

Then cook them.  And eat them.

Establish tater dominance.